it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize