Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
