The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
