she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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