Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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