it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
