He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
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I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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