I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
