And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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