I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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