I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
