There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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