you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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