Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
