I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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