forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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