She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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