its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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