when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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