and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
