would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
