now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
