Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize