I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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