Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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