Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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