She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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