So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
