How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
