We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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