Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
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Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
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we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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