The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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