you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
