is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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