Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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