I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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