i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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