True but thats because hes a fetus.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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