it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
