I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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