you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
