It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Your penis caused this!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
