Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
