You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize