you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize