And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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