I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
