Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize