Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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