Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
