There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
