So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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