My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
