so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize