proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize